Complications
by LittleMewLugia
Summary: While Sam and Mikaela are out with the Autobots,they get caught in a storm.When Optimus Prime gets struck by lightning, which arcs to Mikaela,they have more problems than they bargain for,and Sam’s life suddenly gets a LOT more complicated!
1. Chapter 1

Complications

SUMMARY: While Sam and Mikaela are out with the Autobots, they get caught in a storm. When Optimus Prime gets struck by lightning, which arcs to Mikaela, they have more problems than they bargain for, and Sam's life suddenly gets a LOT more complicated than he bargained for.

SETTING: Movieverse

RATING: T for language

PAIRINGS: Sam/Mikaela

DISCLAIMER: Hasbro and Dreamworks own Transformers. I don't.

Sam leaned back , just lightly resting his hands on the steering wheel.

"This is the life!" sighed Sam, turning his head to look at his girlfriend, Mikaela.

"Sam, I know Bumblebee's doing the driving, but you should at least look like you're driving. What if the cops come around the next corner?"

"After facing Barricade, normal cops would be a relief." Sam told her. "Anyway, I've _never _seen cops on this road."

Mikaela went pale at the thought of Barricade, but recovered herself.

"I guess if Barricade _does_ show up, we have enough metal muscle with us to make him think twice." she said.

"I'd figure so." said Sam. "Although if he DOES show up we'll know that rumour's untrue."

Sam and Mikaela had decided to go out for a little drive with Bumblebee, and with nothing better to do, Ratchet and Optimus had elected to go with them. Ironhide wasn't with them, because he was investigating a reported sighting of Barricade a few towns over.

Sam had instructed Bumblebee to drive them to a nearby hill that overlooked Tranquillity. He chose this location for two reasons-firstly, because it was isolated enough that the Autobots could transform, secondly, it was a beautiful area that he, Mikaela, and the Autobots all knew. Optimus Prime had gone there to send out his invitation for any other surviving Autobots to join him.

Mikaela looked uneasily at the gathering clouds.

"Looks like a storm." she said.

"Well, a little bit of rain shouldn't be a problem." he said. "Should it?" he asked Bumblebee, patting the dash of his car, who was also his guardian and his closest friend.

"No, our circuits are insulated. After all, Ironhide landed in a swimming pool, and was unharmed, remember? We can withstand immersion in water for several hours before we have to even think about worrying." Bumblebee assured him.

They reached the top of the hill, and Sam and Mikaela got out of Bumblebee and Bumblebee, Optimus, and Ratchet all transformed. They stood, looking at the scenery.

"You have a beautiful planet." Optimus said. "We are privileged to be permitted to share it with you."

"Well, the President and Congress couldn't really do anything else once you put in your request and promised to aid the Army in repelling any further Decepticons. Especially when Secretary Keller and Will Lennox both put forward your case, and pointed out that you had saved not just the asses of Americans, but the world's collective ass." Sam said.

Mikaela and Ratchet wandered over, and the three Autobots and two humans talked about their future hopes and plans. Optimus was hoping for more Autobots to respond to his signal, and Sam and Mikaela had their own plans for their future. Bumblebee said he wailed accept this, but requested that Sam keep him, and Sam reassured Bumblebee that he would never send him away.

It was only when the rain increased from a drizzle to a downpour that they realised the storm was getting worse.

"It might be an idea to take us home!" yelled Sam to Bumblebee.

"I can't! " Bumblebee replied. "If the lightning strikes me while you are in me, you could be killed, I am too conductive."

Optimus stood, and put his back to the wind. "Stand to the front of me, I can intercept the worst of the wind, and therefore the rain." he said. Bumblebee and Ratchet both took vehicle form. Optimus pout out an arm to help shield them further, and they stood and watched the storm's ferocity. Sam sat, while Mikaela wrapped her arms around herself and edged closer to Optimus.

Suddenly a lightning bolt spiked down and struck Optimus, who convulsed. The lightning ran down his body, lighting him up incandescently. At hip level it arced away from him, and struck Mikaela, who cried out and twisted in the lightning's grip. The lightning released them both as quickly as it had struck, and as Sam rushed to the crumpled form of Mikaela, Ratchet transformed and went to Optimus.

"Overloaded. He'll regain consciousness in a few seconds." said Ratchet. Moving over to Mikaela, Ratchet extruded a fine needle, and gave her something, then stimulated her with a mild electric shock. "Sam, breathe for her. I'm too large, you have to do it." said Ratchet. Sam bent, expelling air into her lungs, and a short time later, she took a breath, just as a groan from behind him told him that Optimus was also regaining consciousness.

Mikaela's eyelids fluttered.

"Primus, that _hurt_!" she said. And then: What's happened to my voice. Sam, why are you suddenly so large?"

Before Sam could answer, or even query the weirdness of what she was saying Optimus spoke, as Ratchet helped pry him upright.

"Sam? What the-" and then Optimus' voice break off, to be replaced by the most appalling sound Sam had _ever_ heard from Optimus' mouth. It sounded like……a _scream_?

Ratchet's processors whirled. "Optimus, what's _wrong_?" he asked.

"You tell me." replied Mikaela, who then looked at her hands, then back at the screaming Optimus. Ratchet quickly ran a conductive line to Optimus, sending a sedating pulse. He stopped screaming and slumped.

"Ratchet…..this is most _odd_. That is my body over there. These are organic hands."

"Oh my God……" said Sam. "Ratchet, have they sort of….?" Sam brought up his two index fingers, then swung them together and beyond each other so they crossed paths.

"It appears so. We must get them both back to base. We are going to have to calm Mikaela down, and hope we can teach her how to transform in Optimus' body." Ratchet said.

"And I will have to learn to walk as a human. I'll have a different locomotive action, mass, and centre of gravity." Optimus-in-Mikaela said.

Sam put his head in his hands.

"Oh _brother!" _he said.

His life had suddenly just got a _lot_ more complicated….

A/N: So, do I leave it as a one-shot, or write the second chapter? You decide!


	2. Chapter 2

Complications

Chapter Two

(When I refer to the characters, I'll be referring to their personalities/minds, not their bodies. Similarly, when I use "he" and "she" it is the minds I refer to, so "she" would be Mikaela, "he" is Optimus)

"So, Ratchet, do you have any theories on how this happened? asked Optimus.

"I have a theory." said Ratchet, as he sat by Mikaela as she began to reach full awareness again as Ratchet's treatment began to wear off. "I think that it was the energy of the lightning strike that effected the accidental transfer, while the two of you were connected by the lightning discharge."

"Shit!" was Mikaela's reaction to that, as she sat up again. "How am I meant to use this thing?-no offence intended." she said, holding up the huge mech hands of the body she was in.

"I can probably help with that." said Ratchet. "For the transforming, I will probably have to connect to you and effect it using my own systems, until you learn it yourself. You'll have to come back to the base with us, too, as there is no way you'll fit in your own house. You, Optimus, are going to have the hardest job, trying to pretend to be Mikaela around her friends and family."

Sam could see that attempt being disastrous. "I have a better idea. Get Optimus to phone Mikaela's Mom and explain that she's staying with friends, and then Optimus can either stay with me, or at the base with you guys."

"Would it be acceptable for Optimus to stay with _you_, Sam , as you will need to help him deal with eating and drinking." Sam put his hand to his face as he realised something.

"And _dressing_! Oh God, I'm gonna get Mum to deal with that side of things!" He blushed. Then an awful thought struck him.

"Ratch-you are going to be able to reverse the effects, aren't you?" he asked.

"I hope so." Optimus said, as Mikaela said "He'd better be able to! I'm not staying like this for the rest of my life!"

"I will have to research what happened, but theoretically, we _should_ be able to find some way to re-create the situation that caused this, even if it means standing outside in a thunderstorm again." Ratchet stated.

"Not _this _storm though." said Sam, as he watched the huge cumulonimbus moving off. "It's passed over us."

"I am pleased about that." said Optimus, shivering. "The ambient temperature seems to be detrimental to this body. It will not stop shaking."

"That's normal when you're cold." said Sam. "Bumblebee, could you go back into car form and turn on the heaters for us poor organics?" Sam led Optimus over to the obliging Bumblebee, and sat with him as Bumblebee turned the heaters and blowers on full. Sam put his arms over Optimus' shoulders and pulled him close, to share body heat. Sam had no objection to holding Mikaela's body this close to him.

"This is a very new experience for me." said Optimus.

"What is?" Sam Asked. "Being organic? I imagine it's new to Mikaela being a mech, and a male one at that."

"That too." said Optimus, "but I was referring to the difference in size. Being the smallest one in a group is not something I have ever had to face. Especially not when standing amongst humans."

He snuggled into Sam. "You are so warm." Sam began to feel stirrings below the belt, for he had always been attracted to Mikaela, and when her body was this close to his, his hormones tended to take over. However, he had stirrings elsewhere too, in his mind, of unease, for he could not forget whose mind was inhabiting this body.

Optimus' breathing, he noticed uncomfortably, was getting deeper and less even, and Sam remembered some disquieting experiences he's had with his body, some of the physical reactions and dirty images that had sprung to his mind when looking at some girls at school. Their personalities he couldn't stand, but their figures had made his treacherous body react.

What if the same thing was happening to Optimus?

"Uh-Ratchet, I think something is happening to Mikaela's body. Could you make sure nothing's wrong?" Ratchet ran a scan.

"It's not life-threatening, Sam, if that's what you're worried about."

"That's not what I'm worrying about. It's Michaela's _body_ I'm worried about. Specifically, her hormone levels."

"Her hormone levels are elevated, specifically those associated with attraction and reproduction. Her body is readying itself for mating."

That was the very situation Sam had worried about. He pulled away from Mikaela's body as he said "You're warm enough, Optimus. Between Mikaela's body and Bumblebee's heaters, you'll be okay soon."

"But I'm still _cold!" _said Optimus, reaching out towards Sam again. "Why won't you share your body heat any more?" Sam leaned back, away, and Optimus sighed and lowered his arms again.

"Look, Optimus, it's _complicated. _You're a male mech in the body of my female mate, and it's just messing with my head. Just accept it as a funny organic thing, and let it _be, _okay?"

"For a start, if it's _my_ body going to be doing that sort of thing, I want it to be _my_ mind in there." interjected Mikaela, whom Ratchet was supporting in a standing position. He had finally got her to keep her balance while walking about.

"Can we head off, please? The sooner I get Optimus home, the quicker I can start teaching him how to be human. Anyway, my mom's cooking, and both Mikaela and I will need to eat."

"We still need to teach Mikaela how to transform." said Ratchet. "I think it would be best, Mikaela, if I connect to you and help you the first few times, then I'll let you try by yourself. I could leave it till we get to the base, but I would rather be prepared for any eventuality."

"O-okay, what does it involve?" she said nervously.

"I will intitate a wireless connection to Optimus' body." said Ratchet, "I will initiate transformation into vehicle mode, then back into robot mode."

"Okay." Mikaela said.

Ratchet was surprised and gratified to find that, after the first two or three times, Mikaela took to transforming as if designed for it-although being in an experienced body, where any kinks had long since been fixed, may have helped. When Ratchet said she'd have to learn to drive, she said "I have driven before, you know!"

"Not like this you haven't!" said Ratchet,. She had to concede that, and folded back into truck form without a word.

"Bumblebee, you go in front, then Mikaela, then I'll follow." said Ratchet.

Thankfully, Mikaela took to travelling in vehicle form as easily as she had taken to transforming. Bumblebee and Ratchet opened up communications so the three mechs and two humans could all communicate. They were not far from the location of the Autobot base when Sam caught sight of a form he recognized. A too-familiar police car, seeming to have not noticed them, cruised ahead.

"Leave him, he's pretty much alone now Starscream's fled." said Bumblebee. "He's not looking to cause trouble."

"Screw that!" Mikaela said in Optimus' deep voice. "I owe him a kicking!"

"No Mikaela!" cried Ratchet, but it was too late: Mikaela was transforming.

Being unused to transforming on the move, she stumbled and almost fell, and then regained her balance.

"Come here, Barricade, you little _shit!"_ she hollered, and stepping over Bumblebee, headed towards the black and white Decepticon.


	3. Chapter 3

Complications

Chapter Three

That was the only warning Barricade got before the foot of Optimus' body caught him in one of his doors and punted him halfway across the highway. Luckily, nobody was in his way.

However, there was plenty of swerving and horn-blaring going on, as drivers tried to avoid Mikaela. She searched for a place to put down the foot she'd just struck Barricade with, found one, and moved purposefully towards the now dented Police car, which spun it's wheels and took off at speed, crazily swerving to avoid crashing, dodging between the other vehicles on the roads. Mikaela slowly gave pursuit, and narrowly avoided one car, grazed the side of another, nearly kicked a third over. Then Ratchet's voice blared out.

"Stop it, before someone gets hurt! You'll never catch him now! Get over to the side!"

It was either something about Ratchet's tone of voice, or Mikaela saw the sense in what he was saying, for she went over to the side of the road, waited for a gap in the traffic, and transformed into vehicle form.

Ratchet transferred his communications back to between the three vehicles.

"Alright Mikaela, I've activated Optimus' holoform and I've locked your transforming abilities down till we get back to base. That was a foolish stunt to pull! Somebody could have got hurt!"

"I only wanted to hurt _one _thing, and that was that evil car." she said, rather sulkily.

"Not to mention you've probably scared the Spark out of half the people on the highway! That means questions are going to be asked and that means _we_ are going to be asked what we were doing transforming in front of so many witnesses by your government! We are _supposed_ to be hiding!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, can we just forget it now, and head to wherever we should be?" she said.

"Okay, but we are going to have to have a talk to you about transforming-when and where and what situations we do and do not do it. And you should control your temper! In a body that size, you could easily hurt or kill someone by accident!"

They pulled up to the gates of the Autobot base, and Sam and Bumblebee pulled to the side to let Mikaela and Ratchet in.

"I'm taking you home, Sam, Prime, before the others find out and inundate us all with questions." Bumblebee said, executing a swift U-turn and heading off.

"Thank you, Bumblebee." said Optimus. "For the others to see me like this would be rather-undignified."

Bumblebee pulled into Sam's parent's drive, and Sam half-supported, half-carried Optimus up the drive. Sam's parents saw them come in, and Sam's mother went over to assist. Optimus threw an arm around Judy's waist, and found support on each side made walking in the unusual body-and the _ridiculous_ shoes it wore-much easier.

"Oh my God, Sam! What's the matter with her? Have you fallen in with a bad crowd and been drinking, or taking drugs? Help me get her in the front room and get her sat down."

"Thank you, Mrs Witwicky." Optimus said.

Sam was glad for his mother's practical streak as she got Optimus settled into a comfy chair. Then she turned a look of steel on Sam.

"No, it's not drink or drugs, Mom, but it's complicated. Do you remember Bumblebee and I took you and Dad up to the lookout to meet Optimus and the others?

"How could I forget something like that, Sam?" she asked. "What's this all about?"

"Remember Optimus? The big blue and red one?"

"Yes, quite a gentleman for a big alien robot." she said.

"Well, did you hear the thunderstorm earlier?"

"Yes Sam, but you're babbling. Where is all this going?" Judy asked, confused.

"That's where it gets complicated." Sam said. "You see, it all started when we got caught out in that storm…."

"Oh." said Judy, when Sam had finished. She gave a little giggle, slapped her hand over her mouth. "Sorry, didn't mean to be rude. So-although you look like Mikaela-you're actually Optimus Prime?" she asked.

"Yes, and I'm, not used to being in a body this size and shape, and the footwear makes it even more difficult." Optimus explained. Judy looked at her feet, and then at Mikaela's.

"I think Mikaela and I are similar sizes. I'll see if I can find you some flat shoes." Judy nipped upstairs.

"Dad, I need to go out in a couple of hours, we need to get Optimus some clothes of Mikaela's to wear for a bit. Is that okay?"

"Okay, Sam. I'll let you off your chores for today." sighed Ron.

"Thanks Dad, you're so understanding. You're a great guy." Sam said.

At that point, Judy came down with two pairs of flat, sensible, lace-up shoes, one pair brown, one pair black, and put them down in Optimus' lap. He looked at them blankly.

"Well? Better?" asked Judy.

"Mom, he doesn't know what to do with them. Autobots don't wear clothes." Sam knelt before Optimus, took the kitty-heel sandals off Mikaela's feet, and laced on the black shoes for Optimus.

"Okay, Optimus, if you're going to go back to Mikaela's house with me, you need to convince your mom that you're Mikaela long enough to get some clothes from her room. Thank God she knows and approves of me," he said. We can wing it as far as what to say goes, but you need to be able to walk, so we'd best start teaching you now." As that moment, an alarming rumble sounded from Mikaela's body.

"Huh? What was that? My internal systems are registering pain. Is the body malfunctioning?"

"Uuuh, no Optimus, the body's hungry." At Optimus' blank look, he translated. "it needs fuel, which Mom's just preparing." Sam quietly groaned. Teachng Optimus how humans refuelled was going to be…interesting….to say the least.

Sam was glad that Optimus had good powers of observation and was quick on the uptake. He learned how to use a knife and fork merely by watching everybody else. Optimus put the first forkful in his mouth and just let it sit there until Sam pointed out that he needed to swallow it, and when he tried, he almost choked, and Sam realised he should have told him to chew first. The second forkful got spat out because "its temperature is greater than the nerves in the mouth can bear" as Optimus put it.

He got the idea after the third forkful, and from then on, eating caused few problems, although he had to be reminded more than once that talking and eating at the same time was not only considered rude, but very messy if you were not used to it. Once eating had been sorted, Sam got back to teaching Optimus to walk in Mikaela's body.

Again, this was fairly rapidly accomplished, as teenage humans were not as uncoordinated as babies, and once Optimus trusted the body's unconscious balance systems, he got to the stage where he could walk almost normally except for a slight wobble. "The hips of the female body make walking a little awkward." he pointed out.

"That's because women's hips are wider, for child-bearing." Sam's mother said.

"What is "child-bearing?" Optimus asked. Sam groaned, shaking his head.

"Don't ask, Wait till Mom's teaching you how to dress, you'll have the time then. Right now, we need to go out to Bumblebee and get to Mikaela's house for the clothes."

That was uneventful-they just went in and "Mikaela" told her Mom she was staying over Sam's for a week, and her mom just said "Okay, but you be sure to use protection." Optimus had the sense not to ask Sam about this until they were back in Bumblebee.

"That ties in with the "child-bearing" question." Sam had replied. "Ask my mom that one, too." They had gone upstairs and raided Mikaela's closet. Bras' panties, skirts, pants, tee shirts, socks, pantyhose and tops had all been bundled into some bags and placed in Bumblebee's trunk. Then they headed home, and Sam went through to see his mom.

"Okay, Sam, I've set up the spare bed in the spare room for Optimus. I'll go in and explain female accoutrements to him tomorrow."

"I hope you've got time tomorrow, Mom, Optimus wants to know about contraception and childbearing, too. You'll have to give him The Talk, and there's a lot you might have to explain to something that's alien and inorganic, and may not reproduce at all." Sam's mom rolled her eyes.

"I'll set aside the whole morning." she said.


	4. Chapter 4

Complications.

Chapter Four

When they had got back, it had been the expected round of questions from Ironhide,, and then the discussion of what could be done and what it all meant, Ratchet and Ironhide talking about her and Optimus' sudden switchover in front of her and around her as if the twenty-eight foot body she was in had suddenly become invisible. After a while, she got fed up with it.

"Excuse me, I _am _here you know."

"Yes, that is true. First things first, practice transforming and walking about-yes, I've removed the lockdown-and then I'll help you work out how to activate the holoform."

Ratchet watched as she swiftly transformed from robot to truck and back again ten times, then instructed her to practice the transformation while in motion, and then instructed her in how to access the holoform. Once she was used to turning it on and off, he got her to practice making the holoform move. By the time Ironhide came over to her, she was getting bored of doing the same things.

"Okay, it's time you learned how to use your weapons." said Ironhide to her.

"Really?" said Mikaela, immediately brightening.

"If only so you don't accidentally shoot yourself with them, or worse, shoot _us_ with them. In addition, if we _do_ by some stroke of bad luck get attacked by Decepticons, you _will_ be expected to help fight them off. You;'re the biggest 'bot we have at the moment, and second in firepower only to me. Don't think that just because you're in the wrong body you'll get away with it. Don't think that being female does either-Autobot femmes were some of the best and _fiercest_ fighters we had."

"Hey, you're not gonna get any arguments off me!" said Mikaela. "Lead the way!"

"There you are, Ironhide, you've finally found someone as trigger-happy as you are!" said Ratchet. Ironhide chose to ignore him.

He took Mikaela to an improvised target area, and pretty soon, she was happily shooting, with Ironhide advising how to improve her aim.

"So what is the purpose of this area?" Optimus asked Sam later that evening. Sam had shown Optimus to the spare room.

"Humans recharge by something called "sleep." said Sam. "It is a process involving the shutdown of those parts of the body not required for its continued existence." _'God, I'm beginning to sound like Ratchet!' _he thought to himself with a grimace. "It's not always easy to do. I'd say lie down on the bed there, get under the covers, shut your eyes and clear your mind. Goodnight."

Sam went off to his own room.

For an hour or so, Optimus tossed and turned in the bed, unused to the sensation and wondering just how humans _did_ enter their recharge phase. Then, the next thing he knew, there was light coming through the windows and there was a tap at the door.

"Hello?" he said, and Judy Witwicky came in with a steaming cup.

"Here. I got you a cup of tea." she said. He looked at the fluid, and then was aware of a liquid pressure in his lower abdomen.

"Mrs Witwicky, I believe I have a buildup of lubricant in my lower torso. What do I do?"

"Oh yes, there's always gonna be that side of it that Sam couldn't or wouldn't explain, wouldn't there be?" she said, getting Optimus up. "I'll show you the toilet, and explain."

Five minutes later, Judy Witwicky accompanied a grimacing Optimus out of the toilet and sprayed the air freshener.

"I never realised humans converted their fuel so inefficiently as to create noxious-smelling solid waste products and equally noxious gases." he said. "In comparison, the liquid effluent is innocuous."

"I'm afraid Mikaela is fond of spicy food and garlic." said Judy. "That can affect the odour somewhat, although I've never heard of anyone's waste smelling _pleasant_." Judy led Optimus back to the bedroom, sat him back down on the bed.

"Now, I think Sam said you had a few questions about human reproduction." she said. "We'll get you dressed, and then let me give you the basic talk all teenage humans get off their parents at some time or other, and we'll go on from there…."

Four hours (and several cups of tea) later, Judy was wondering just what she had let herself in for. First of all, she had had to dress Optimus, undress him, and then let himself get into a glorious muddle with all the frills and lace and twangy bits of elasticated feminine wear Mikaela's clothes mainly seemed to consist of, before she un-muddled him and showed him where he'd gone wrong.

Then, the Talk had created more problems, it seemed, than it solved. For every question she answered, Optimus seemed to find more, all stemming from Judy's answers to his last question. He was a bottomless pit of curiosity, and was now getting into the realm of questions neither she nor Sam had _ever_ thought to ask. She cut him off as he was about to ask another question.

"Tell you what, Mikaela, I'll have a word with Sam about showing you how to use his computer. Maybe the Internet can answer some of these questions." She scurried out to have a word with Sam, glad to have escaped.

Ten minutes later, Sam was showing Optimus how to use the computer, and the wonders of Google. Once he was sure Optimus knew what he was doing, Sam went out for a drive with Bumblebee, because he wanted to see how Mikaela was coping. If she was having half the difficulties Optimus was, the base would be in upheaval, and Sam wanted to be there to give her any help she may need.

In the meantime, Judy was glad she had suggested the computer, for Optimus spent the next four hours at the keyboard. Judy went in to offer food and drink, and to remind him to take eye and toilet breaks, but aside from that, she wouldn't have known he was there.

Sam and Bumblebee went into the base, to find a sour-looking Ratchet on watch.

"Hi. How's Mikaela?" asked Sam.

"Her? She's fine, the bloodthirsty little-er, big-mech." he grumbled. At Sam's startled look, he said "Well, at the moment, she _is_ a mech, in every sense of the word!"

"It was the 'bloodthirsty' bit I was surprised at. You sure you've got the right Mikaela?" Sam said.

"What? Feisty, strong-willed and hanging around in Optimus' body? I'd say it's the same one."

"Well, where is she?" asked Sam. "I want to see her."

"At the target area with Ironhide. He's teaching her what he likes to call '101 ways to scrap a Decepticon.'"

Sam and Bumblebee went around, to find Mikaela blasting the heck out of a target with Optimus' huge cannon. The first shot blew the middle out of it. The second took away half of what was left, the third took out the rest.

"You see, if you can aim and set it right, it takes less shots at a slightly higher power to do more damage." Ironhide was telling her. Then he spotted Sam and Bumblebee. "Your friends are here. Have ten minutes to talk to them, then I will show you some more clever things you can do with the settings of your cannons to make any Decepticon think twice about taking you on."

"I want to know how to do those neato somersaults you did in Mission City." she said. Then she went over to meet her friends.

"Sam, Bumblebee!" she said. "How are you doing, and how's Optimus?

"Not doing as well as _you_ obviously are." said Sam. He gave Mikaela a brief rundown of what had happened since they separated, and Ironhide came over to listen. After a while, they ran out of things to talk about, and Ironhide remarked that he still had much to teach Mikaela. Sam suppressed the pang of jealousy he felt at Ironhide's monopoly of his girlfriend, telling himself not to be silly. Ironhide said "Tell Optimus that Mikaela's doing fine, but we miss him." Sam agreed, then he and Bumblebee left.

In the meantime, Optimus came downstairs after his marathon computer session. Judy had gone out to take Mojo for his toilet. The only person in the room was Ron.

"Hello, Optimus. He said, picking up his coffee.

"I have a question I was unable to answer by using Google. I was hoping you might be able to answer it." Optimus said.

"Okay, ask away." said Ron, who then took a mouthful of his coffee.

"What is the purpose of porn?"

Ron spit out the mouthful of coffee he had across the room as he choked. Optimus watched him with concern. Spluttering, Ron said "Why ask _me?"_

"You are the only person in the room."

"Humans are obsessed with sex. Porn for some individuals fills their time to indulge that obsession."

"Yes, I have noticed that humans seem to focus often on the procreative act. Why?"

"It's pleasureable, that's why!" I'm answering no more questions of that nature!" he said, as he heard Bumblebee pull up outside. "Ask Sam! I am sure his knowledge in that area _far _surpasses mine by now!"

"Pleasureable." said Optimus. He looked down at the body he was in. "Do you think Sam would care for a few judicious experiments so I can experience this for myself?" Sam came in in time to see this, and to see his father's reaction: another jet of coffee flew through the air.

"No, Optimus, I would not. Sorry, but _not at all_." Sam said.


	5. Chapter 5

-1 Complications

Chapter Five

Judy Witwicky was awoken a few days later by a hammering on the bedroom door.

"Mom, Mom!" called Sam's voice. "It's me, Sam!" he called unnecessarily. Casting a resentful look at Ron (who was still asleep), Judy cracked open an eyelid and looked at the clock. When she saw the time, she groaned.

"Sam, it's 7 in the morning. It's Sunday. Give it a rest!"

"Mom, it's Optimus. He's in the bathroom going frantic, and-well, I think you had better come and see. It's a woman's thing, Mom."

Judy sighed. She should have realised there would be some sort of problem on the horizon with Optimus, for he had gone through three relatively trouble-free days. Except, that was, for almost flooding the bathroom while running a bath, and then almost drowning himself in it when he forgot that humans needed to breathe and couldn't breathe in water. However, those were minor incidents that had been reasonably easy to sort out before disaster struck. Thinking of Mikaela, and that Optimus had now been in her body for a good five to six days, she had a suspicion about what the problem was likely to be.

She got up and put on her dressing gown with a sigh. She went into the bathroom, where Optimus was crouched in the bath in his nightdress, looking worried-no, in fact he was looking _scared._ It was very odd to see Mikaela's face like this, full of naked fear and streaked with tears. Judy had never seen Mikaela like this. However, of course, although the body was Mikaela's the mind inside it was not, Judy reminded herself

"Optimus, honey, what's the matter?" she asked.

"Mrs Witwicky, I appear to be leaking, and my abdominal area hurts." he said worriedly. He rose from his crouch, and Judy saw her suspicions were correct. The back and hem of his nightdress was red and wet. Judy closed the door.

"In Mission City, when humans were injured, they leaked and were in pain. Have I inadvertently damaged Mikaela's body? Humans are more fragile than I realised." Asked Optimus.

"No, no, not at all, this is quite normal for human females, it's part of the reproduction process. Do you remember that talk we had earlier about human reproduction?……."

Sam, waiting outside the door could hear only one half of the ensuing conversation between the couple: Optimus' side as he made no effort to keep his voice low as his mother, aware that there were two easily-embarrassed men in the house, did.

He heard a low murmur that was his mother, and then:

"Yes-but-I forgot! These human processors called "brains" are leaky with data. I can't remember as much as I could in my old body." Optimus replied. Sam's mother said something more.

"It is?" asked Optimus. "Why am I in pain if the body is not injured?" Sam's mother said something longer this time. Optimus's response was delivered in a tone of absolute horror.

"A _week? _Every month for seven days? All this leakage and pain? Surely it is detrimental to your continued existence to leak this much for so long!" How do human femmes survive this?"

Judy,s voice took on a soothing tone, and Optimus responded.

"Are you _sure_ it's only two tablespoons? It looks like a lot more!"

There was what Sam recognised as soft but sympathetic laughter to this one, and once again she responded to the question in a low voice.

"There are some aspects of human existence that really _are_ quite disgusting." Optimus said. "No disrespect intended to yourself, Mrs Witwicky, to Mikaela, or your species, but that is very unsettling to discover."

The bathroom door opened as Mrs Witwicky came out, laughing softly again. She headed into her bedroom, raising her voice-her husband was still snoring away-so Optimus could still hear her.

"None taken, Optimus, many human females would agree with you-periods _are _quite disgusting. It's part of the reason that many of us who are of the relevant age take the Pill for three months at a time-just to only suffer The Curse four times a year."

"What is this 'Pill?' asked Optimus, as Judy came back out of the bathroom holding an open packet of sanitary napkins in one hand, and a couple of tablets in the other. Sam felt his face beginning to redden at the sight of the former. "Will it stop this? Is that what you have in your hand?" asked Optimus.

"No, sorry honey, these are just pain pills, to stop the pain. The Pill is used to stop unplanned pregnancies - remember what I told you about planned procreation? - but would take the week to take effect. I remember now, Mikaela _does_ take the Pill, - sensible girl - but in all the confusion I forgot, so the effect has worn off. I must get you taking them on her behalf again, she'll want things to be as normal as possible with her body when she gets back." Then the door was closed again, and Sam decided to wait for Optimus back in his room. His Mom would sort Optimus out. Not, thought Sam, that he was generally squeamish, but about delicate feminine matters, he had to admit that he was. Although it explained one thing-why, over the past few days, Optimus had become so short tempered that he had been positively -well- _bitchy_ was really the only word for it.

Optimus knocked on Sam's door ten minutes later, fully dressed and clutching the rest of the packet of sanitary napkins. Sam flushed and pulled Optimus in, handing him Mikaela's purse. "Put them in here, Op." he said. Optimus started talking about periods again, much to Sam's mortification, but he did relent when Sam said "I don't have a clue, Optimus, ask Mom tonight when we get home!"

Things didn't get any easier when they went out to Bumblebee, for Optimus insisted on telling Bumblebee all about it, and he spared no details, leaving Sam feeling rather sick. Sam dropped Optimus off at the local Wal-Mart, for Judy had given him money to get a new packet. After half-an-hour, Sam had to go in and look for him, realising he had got lost. After finding Optimus, Sam had another cringeworthy moment as he helped Optimus find the aisle to get the sanitary napkins, plus the same absorbency and make as the ones Optimus had been given by Judy. Sam was sure that one brand was just as good as another, but Optimus insisted on the same brand. "Your mother said I should get these ones in this grade." he told Sam gravely.

"Okay, okay, let's just get this over with." Sam muttered, going with Optimus to the cash registers. Sam was sure all the nearby girls working on the tills could see his red face as he helped Optimus pay for the item and put the packet in a bag, but none of them made any comment, much to his relief.

They headed out to the Autobot base, as Optimus wanted to see his companions, and Sam himself was eager to see how Mikaela was doing. Ironhide let them in. He was on gate duty.

"How are you all." Optimus asked. Ironhide blinked.

"Wha-Optimus?" he asked, optics blinking rapidly. He crouched down to peer at him.

"Yes." said Optimus. Ironhide put out a hand which Optimus climbed into without hesitation. Ironhide lifted him up till they were eye-to-optic.

"I can see being this little is going to take some getting used to." said Optimus.

"We have some good news." stated Ironhide. "Ratchet was fixing Jazz's body when he found that there was a weak Spark inside, which _does_ appear to be Jazz. Ratchet has transferred Jazz to a temporary body while he mends him fully and runs a fully comprehensive systems check on his old body." Ironhide nodded to where Mikaela was coming out, with a small mechanical figure in her arms.

"Mikaela has volunteered to look after him some of the time and keep him entertained. It's helping her get used to and to practice data transference other than vocally, and keeps Jazz occupied. The body was so hurriedly put together that it does not have a vocal processor, only fuel intake and outtake valves, the Spark chamber, of course, basic sensory input and limited locomotor appendages. It means he can't speak, but he communicates via datastream."

"You mean Jazz is alive, but that Ratchet he had to put him in a very basic Sparkling body?" asked Optimus solemnly.

"Yes, but Ratchet said it shouldn't take long for him to finish up on his original body and put him back." Ironhide stated. Optimus smiled, the first time the expression wasn't forced and looked totally natural.

"Jazz is alive. It will be good to have him back. I have missed his conversation, even with his unusual syntax and dialect words." Optimus said.

Sam stared at Mikaela, who was cradling the mini robot she held in what, in a twenty-eight foot high mech body, seemed an oddly tender manner.

"You mean-Jazz is alive, but in a baby's body?" asked Sam. There was a pause as Ironhide accessed the Internet.

"Yes." he replied. "That is correct as I understand your terminology." Sam looked at Mikaela again, realising what he was seeing.

"Oh no, I think Mikaela's getting _broody_." he said.


	6. Chapter 6

Complications

Chapter Six

It was a week after Optimus' period had finished that Sam was woken by a tapping on his window. He looked at the clock and groaned. It was 1.38 AM. He went to the window and pulled back the curtain. He saw, as he knew he would, Bumblebee's silver face and blue optics peering in.

"Bumblebee, it's late - or to be more precise, _early_. What is it?" he groaned.

"We have registered an area of weather likely to reproduce the conditions that caused Optimus and Mikaela to swap bodies. Ratchet and Mikaela are getting ready. The storm, if it keeps on it's present course - and there is nothing to suggest that it will deviate - will hit the Lookout in two hours."

Sam was now wide awake.

"Two hours? I'll go get Optimus." he said.

Rushing into Optimus' room, Sam shook Optimus awake.

"Sam? What is it? This body has not had sufficient chance to recharge." Optimus said. This was confirmed when Optimus gave a prodigious yawn.

"Storm coming, expected to hit the Lookout in two hours, looks like you've got a chance of getting your body back, Op buddy." Sam said. _'and me to get my girlfriend back.' _Sam thought but didn't say.

The news woke Optimus up too.

"Get out and get dressed, I'll meet you on the landing in fifteen minutes." he said. Sam got out, and ran for his bedroom, getting dressed in a time that, for him, must have been close to a record.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam and Optimus, both fully dressed, crept downstairs, after Sam had to remind Optimus that waking his parents to explain things and thank them would not be a good idea, considering what time it was.

Bumblebee flicked open his doors, and took off towards the Lookout. When they got there, they found Mikaela and Ratchet waiting for them. Optimus and Sam got out, and bumblebee transformed.

"I will be glad to get into my own form again. Being human has been most unsettling, to say the least, although it has also been immensely educational." Optimus said.

"Yeah, me too." said Mikaela. "Not that it's not been fun and all, but I don't think I want to be like this forever."

"I am afraid I have been doing some research on my way here, and I must tell you now that I do not think I can _allow_ you to do this." said Ratchet.

Sam, Mikaela and Optimus stared at him.

"You _what_?" asked Mikaela.

"You heard me." Ratchet said. "It would be safe enough for Optimus, we Cybertronians have been hit by worse than several thousand volts of electrical discharge, but from the research I have done, it appears that humans are _far_ less resilient. Most humans struck by lightning _die_, you almost _did_ when this happened the first time, Mikaela."

"But-but-I don't _want_ to stay like this! _I_ belong in my _own_ body, and _Optimus_ belongs in _his_." Mikaela stated.

"I certainly have _no_ desire to stay in this - forgive me, Mikaela - _limited_ human form, and it seems that Mikaela prefers her body to mine." Optimus said.

"I definitely, for my _own_ selfish reasons, would like them both to be put back where they belong." Sam said.

"I'm not saying that you don't and I'm not saying it's not _possible_, but not like _this_! I can do some research at the Base, see if I can find a safer way to achieve what we all want." Ratchet said.

"How long will that take?" asked Mikaela. "Days, Months? Maybe years? What if you can't do it at all? I lose my body and _you_ lose _Optimus_ when my body wears out!" she sighed, throwing her big hands in the air in frustration.

"Look, I'm _used_ to the idea of mortality, I know I'm going to die in about fifty to seventy years time, and when the Decepticons attack-which you can bet they _will_, you need Optimus and his talents and experience, _not_ me and my gung-ho enthusiasm. You have Ironhide for that. Look, it's _my_ body and _my_ risk, and I say, I want to go for it!"

"No, Mikaela, I can't let you and I won't." said Ratchet. "If need be I can take over your transformation circuitry and your steering and get you back to the base, so don't try the "I'm not moving" trick with me!" Ratchet told her. She stooped, to glare optic-to-optic with him.

"Okay, you've got me there, I admit that I can't stop you if you do that. So much for the Autobots big words about _freedom_ - that's all it seems to be doesn't it - _words_. It's my choice - and Optimus' too, of course - but you won't allow us the freedom to take a risk that I'm willing to take, and that, from your own words, is unlikely to be a risk to Optimus." She stood straight again.

"Ratchet, she does have a point." said Optimus. "You _are_ limiting her freedom."

"You're biased, Optimus. You just want your body back." Ratchet said sourly. Optimus looked stricken at Ratchet's harsh words. Ratchet turned to Sam.

"Come on, Sam." he coaxed. "Can't _you_ talk some sense into her? She's your girlfriend."

"Ratchet, I've learned by now that if Mikaela's set her heart on something, nothing _I_ say will change her mind. Anyway, as Optimus said, she _does _have a point. About the freedom thing, I mean."

"So you, too, are biased, Sam, because you want Mikaela back in her body, for mating purposes." Ratchet accused. Sam blushed.

"What about me, Ratch? Am I biased because she's my friend's mate if I say that she has a point and that if Optimus agrees to it and she agrees to it it's her risk to take?" challenged Bumblebee. "Ratch, every time one of us goes off into battle, we all face not surviving, we all take risks, but you can't cosset us and treat us like sparklings all the time. By their society's standards, Mikaela and Sam are adults, and Optimus certainly is by our standards. So treat them like it! Even medical procedures carry risks, even minor ones. Let them make their own decisions, Ratchet, please." Bumblebee said.

Ratchet hung his head.

"Are you two willing to do this? Mikaela, you are aware that you have a good chance of not surviving this? You _do_ understand as well, that the whole thing might not work, and your body might die taking Optimus' mind with it. Do _you_ understand that, Optimus, and are _you_ willing to take that risk?"

"I am if Mikaela is." Optimus said.

"Yes, I'm willing to take that risk, if Optimus is." Mikaela said. "At least, even if it doesn't work, at least we'll have tried." Ratchet sighed.

"Then, as you have said, it would be the wrong thing to do, as an Autobot, to forbid you to do it. I just hope I don't lose you both."

Mikaela hugged Ratchet.

"I won't be able to do this if and when I get back to my own body so I'm doing it while I can. Thank you, I believe in you, you brought me back the first time, I believe you can do it again."

"So do I." Sam said.

"I have every confidence in you, Ratchet." stated Optimus.

"I wish I did." murmured Ratchet.

"What do you mean." asked Optimus.

"Everyone remembers those I rescue, those I repair and bring back from the brink." Ratchet said, his voice sad. "I remember them too, but most of all, I remember those who I couldn't save, and every one is like a rip in my Spark. It hurts when I lose patients." Ratchet said.

"I know it's not much comfort, but at least you _tried_. You did your best." said Mikaela, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Sometimes, Mikaela, they still die, and in cases like that, my best just isn't enough."

They all saw lightning flicker in the distance.

Ratchet seemed to pull himself out of his melancholy mood, and called "Okay, it looks like the storm has started to break. Bumblebee, go a bit further down the hill, Sam sit inside him, if you keep your body away from his bodywork, you should be safe even if he gets struck. Mikaela, stand with your arm out as Optimus was, Optimus, you stand where Mikaela was-a bit closer please-yes, stay there, that's right. I'll go down and join Bumblebee. Now, we just need to wait, the storm should be here in ten minutes or so." Ratchet said.

It was the longest ten minutes any of them had ever known. With every crack of thunder, every flash, they had anxiously watched the figures stood atop the hill. They all hoped it would work, although they all knew that there was a chance that the lightning may bypass them, or that the lightning could strike them, and the re-transfer may not happen, and that they could lose one or both of them if things really went wrong.

Another flash and a thunderclap immediately after it, and the two figures were suddenly lit up. Ratchet was transformed and running towards them before they hit the ground, and Sam was scooped up by a running Bumblebee who got him up there as quickly as he could.

Ratchet was crouched by Mikaela, having repeated the needle-and-electric treatment he'd given her the first time.

"Sam, breathe for her again." Ratchet said. As Sam did, Ratchet monitored.

"No heartbeat." Ratchet said. "Sam, back off." Sam did, and Ratchet repeated the electrical current. "Breathe for her again." Sam did.

"Still no heartbeat." Ratchet said. "Back!" He applied the electric current and then gave her another dose of whatever he had in that needle, and Sam got back to breathing for Mikaela again.

"She trusted me, you all trusted me, I tried to warn you." Ratchet said. "I-" he broke off.

"Her heart is beating!" he cried.

He ran a scan. "Brain waves increasing, consciousness is rising-her body made it!" Ratchet cried. "Did the transfer happen?" As Mikaela coughed, Sam pulled back and sat her up.

"Mikaela?" he asked. "Or is it still Optimus?"

"Still Optimus." she said.

"shit." muttered Sam. He had almost lost her for nothing? He was surprised when she laughed.

"Just kidding, Sam, it's me, Mikaela!" She threw her arms around him, not caring that they were getting wet. As Ratchet brought Optimus back online, he looked at his hands and said "It's good to be back in here."

"I only have one regret about being back in my own body." said Mikaela."

"What's that?" asked Sam.

"Not being able to give Barricade a boot up the aft when I see him again. Last time I missed, I got him in the side instead." she giggled.

"Well, at least you got a chance to do _that_." Sam said. "I won't _ever_ even get that!"

"Speaking of getting people back in their bodies, I have to get Jazz back in his, it's repaired now." Ratchet said. "Ironhide'll be relieved too, apparently even in a sparkling body, Jazz has been running Ironhide ragged."

Mikaela giggled.

"Jazz makes a cute sparkling." she said. "I'll never forget holding him in my - " - she looked up at Optimus - " - that is, your arms."

"I'll tell him you said so." he promised with a small smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Complications

Epilogue

A/N Be careful what you wish for, Sam, you might just get it!

Sam helped pick Mikaela up off the ground and sent her over to Bumblebee-she was getting _soaked_, and Sam knew that Bumblebee's hot air dryers would get her toasty and dry in no time. He would join her in drying off in a moment, but he first wanted a word with Optimus.

He was sitting up, looking over his hands, flexing them.

"It's going to be an odd feeling, getting re-used to my own body." he stated.

"I'll bet. Mikaela seems okay now, though." Sam told him. "Good to have you back where you belong, big guy! No offence, but I'm glad to get my girlfriend back in her own body."

Optimus shuddered.

"Considering those "period" things she has to endure, she's very welcome to have it back. Apart from that 'pill' your mother mentioned, is there any other way to stop them?" Optimus asked.

"I think that there's some implant, but I'm not sure about there. Or there's the nine-month solution." Sam said.

"What's that?" Optimus asked.

Sam grinned. "Pregnancy." he said "Making her a carrier." he translated.

Lightning flashed again, followed by a crack of thunder so soon after that the storm still had to be right overhead, or at least pretty close.

"We'd better head back, before the storm swaps you and I over." Sam said, turning to walk back towards Bumblebee.

Three things happened at once when he was halfway there. Mikaela screamed. Optimus yelled "SAM! LOOK OUT!" and Sam was grabbed by the arms and yanked into the air.

"Got you, fleshling!" came a snide voice.

"Starscream, let him go!" boomed Optimus. Starscream made a turn, sailed over Optimus' and Ratchet's heads, holding Sam under him like a human shield.

"Who's going to make me? You? Not while I'm holding him here like this!" gloated Starscream. "No, I think I'll take him back to our base and-"

Whatever Starscream planned to do to Sam at the Decepticon base went unsaid, as Starscream got struck by a bolt of lightning. He convulsed, dropped Sam, and glided to an ungraceful landing nearby, landing belly-first on the top of the Lookout, scraping his belly along the ground. Luckily, Starscream had been low-flying to gloat, and Optimus caught Sam and lay him on the ground, as Ratchet checked him.

"He's a strong human. His heart's still beating." said Ratchet.

"Silly Starscream! He's metal, the highest thing above the Lookout, and he's flying about in a _lightning storm_?" asked Mikaela. "He was _asking_ for it!"

"Sam's about to wake." said Ratchet. He beckoned Mikaela over. "Tell him not to move too much, help him sit up, I'll check up on Starscream -" Mikaela cut him off.

"Why bother checking Starscream? Just leave him to his own devices. He was asking for it!" she said.

"I'm a medic, I _have_ to!" said Ratchet. "Illness recognises no factions, and I cannot just _leave_ him without checking him." Ratchet explained. "Then we'll get Sam back to Base and make sure he's suffering no permanent damage from that."

"Okay." said Mikaela going over.

Sam groaned, and Mikaela helped sit him up.

"Sam? Are you okay?" she asked. She grabbed his arm with one of her hands to steady him.

Sam opened his eyes, stared, opened his mouth, and screamed.

Ratchet, hearing the scream, looked up from where he was trying to get Starscream back online, just in time to see Mikaela slap Sam around the face with a sound like a pistol shot. Sam stopped screaming, and stared.

"What did you do _that_ for? I thought you were his mate? I thought you loved him?" Ratchet asked. Mikaela transferred both of her hands to Sam's shoulders to help him stay upright. He seemed to be having problems with his balance, Ratchet noticed.

"I _do_ love him, but he was hysterical. I could have kissed him but that was quicker."

Ratchet ,managed to get his Seeker patient back online.

"Owww, that really _hurt_!" said Starscream, his optics unshuttering. Ratchet blinked. That was _not_ what he was expecting Starscream to say. In fact, even the tone of voice seemed wrong. Gone was the haughty note in his voice.

"How _dare_ you strike me, fleshling! Huh? Why are you so big?"

Ratchet looked up, for the haughty note was there, but coming out of Sam's mouth, although the effect was ruined by the quaver of the voice. Mikaela drew back as if she'd been slapped herself, and deprived of her support, Sam fell backwards onto the sodden grass.

"What…what's happened to me?" he asked.

"Oh no….tell me I'm dreaming, _please_?" said Mikaela to Ratchet. Ratchet looked down to where a _very_ confused pair of red optics were staring up at him from a very puzzled-looking Seeker's face.

"Ratchet…? What happened? Why are you so _small_ suddenly?" asked the flier lying by his knees.

Ratchet shook his head, half in disbelief, half in denial and regret in response to Mikaela's request..

"Sorry, Mikaela, I can't do that, unless we're _all_ dreaming." he said. He raised his voice.

"Optimus." he called.

Optimus Prime was on his way over.

"Ratchet, what is it?" he asked.

Ratchet looked down at the downed Seeker, then back over at the human boy, who had managed to sit up, but was now struggling to get to a standing position. He sighed.

"Human legs bend a different way to a Seeker's legs, Starscream. Stay there for now." he called over. Then he looked back at Optimus.

"Optimus, we have a _problem."_

(A/N: if I write the sequel to this, I can see all sorts of hilarious outcomes!)


End file.
